Me after receiving a very painful bee sting: I hate bees!
Bees: *swarm of bees arrives*
Bees: NOT ALL BEES ARE LIKE THAT.
Bees: SOME OF THEM ARE PERFECTLY REASONABLE INSECTS.
Bees: BEES POLLINATE FLOWERS, YOU KNOW.
Bees: WELL, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE ALL GENERALIZING, I GUESS I'LL STOP MAKING HONEY.
if I had a twin I would go into crowds of strangers and profess my love to someone and then say “if our love isn’t meant to be, I will go back in time and slap myself” and then my twin would burst in and slap me
Nothing will fuck up your twenties more than thinking you’re supposed to have your shit together.
when you manage to speak an ENTIRE SENTENCE without stuttering or mixing up your words